Not all activity is a good activity, but it always depletes. You got to recharge. I love that you love to travel. Rescuing is a good thing for you.
I had 6 cats and 1 dog. I am down to four cats. We’re staying steady at that. We’re not getting more. They’re all elderly. My oldest one needs some dental work. Animals are pure joy. There was a lot of work that people skipped over, and they bring so much into this.
Some people are like, “The work,” and I’m like, “Then don’t.” I’m like you. The high point of my day is anytime I go into my two little Aussie puppies, I unlock the crate, and they come flying out at me. I don’t care what a day it is. I love it.
People probably think I’m a nut if my neighbors can hear me because I walk through the door every single day. They’re always laying on the couch when I get home and I say, “Ladies and gentlemen, your mother’s home.”
Could you tell them how hard you work? That’s what I tell them. I’m like, “Mommy has to go bring home the bacon so you guys can live the life. You lay here. Let mommy take care of you.” That’s beautiful, and it gives us great joy. We help rescuers because that’s a worrisome job, going after animals and animals. It never ends, but it never stops. A lot of them do that with their own finances. People like us are, “Somebody has got to take them,” otherwise the whole system get jammed up. I’m always like, “Somebody’s got to help alleviate the fosters and the rescue organization. Somebody has to help them. If you can help them, help them.”
They are at another level. It’s unreal.
Talking about animals, the next thing my dad talked about was abandonment, which in the animal kingdom and the rescue world is a big no-no. We’ve heard about that fear of abandonment, people who suffer from attachment issues, have been abandoned as a child, or had somebody divorce walkout on them, but that’s not the abandonment he was talking about. He was talking about the things that we need to abandon that we like and want to do in favor of what we ought and need to do.
I remember my dad. I’m like, “You’re successful. How did you get successful?” He’s like, “I do more in a day to contribute to my failure than my success.” I’m like, “How is that even possible?” He goes ,“It’s being meticulous and honest with yourself. Yes, you have to have downtime, but be honest about, ‘Is this the best in my time? This book, partner, habit, or whatever.’” You can’t juggle everything because we’re not Wonder Woman. Something will drop or we’ll hurt and compromise ourselves physically. How do you stay finely tuned and focused on what you need to do to move your life forward?
One of the first things I’ve enacted over the last couple of years a little e bit more is simply saying no to some things. It sounds a little bit more forward-thinking feature because when you say no, it’s not because you don’t wish to do something with somebody and you don’t wish to spend the time. It could be an amazing event. It could be something like that, but you forward think a little bit yourself when that time comes. I always start to try to do this habit, “How am I going to feel when it comes time to do this event or this option?” It is because I’ve learned over the years that I say yes every single time, and when it comes time to do it, I am not joyful about doing it longer, whether that’s an event, a party, or it could even be something philanthropic.
You don’t have the capacity for every single thing you want to do. When that time comes, how am I going to feel? Am I going to feel excited three weeks from now at 6:00 on a Tuesday when I said yes to doing this, or am I going to think, “You should have thought about it a little harder a few weeks ago?” My pullback is to stop and think before I say yes because it’s something I probably will end up enjoying. Unfortunately, we can’t base everything on enjoyment and that type of deal. That’s been my great thoughts.
I’m getting better at that because there’s something about saying yes, “Could you take over this?” “Yes,” then I’m like, “What have I done?” I love that you said, “How am I going to feel when that happens?” Think about it. In the back of my mind, I was doing that, but I liked this because we were asked to do it. I tell people at least half the stuff I do is either volunteer, at least half, probably more philanthropic or something that’s not a “lever” to pull for the business.
In business, you’re going to say yes because you’re running your business. I like that, “How am I going to feel?” You catch people that say yes to something, and then they’re like, “What did I say yes to that?” They grouse. I tell people, “If you did say yes, you have to do it with joy.” Next time, don’t say yes because my friend Lisa said, “Ask yourself, ‘How am I going to feel?’” That’s a good one.
If we choose to, it’s not going to benefit or behoove us to be worn out. I’m not excited about the things we do want to do. I have a couple of friends who try to trick people and say, “What are you doing on this date at this time?” I’m like, “I’m not sure what I’m doing. What are you talking about?” Honestly, to lay it all out front, that’s how I am. I want to know the black-and-white of it first that it’s not always from a feeling standpoint because if I fast forward to several weeks from now and I think, “I’d rather be in a robe on my couch,” that’s okay. That’s enough of an answer for myself.
That’s great, and that will help you. Even partnering with somebody working with a particular author or a meeting planner, I already get a sense of how this is going to go and if it’s going to be a joy or if it’s going to be not so joyful. I like that. It is to say, “Is this going to be edifying for both of you? Is this going to be a real pain in the neck?”
There’s the opposite side of that coin as well. You’re not sure and your future self will thank you for that when you set yourself up for success in things like that. The term abandonment could be abandoning these things or it could be leaning into these other things. It depends on your perception of that because abandonment could be from a personal standpoint. It could be deep-rooted internally. There could be things that trigger people in this form of business standpoint from anything else, but also abandoning thoughts of these negative notions and these things that we always say yes, even if they’re positive. Abandonment can be fun to a positive life.
It is something you need to let go of to embrace the future. You can’t have two spouses. At least not in Pennsylvania. You can’t have two jobs. You can’t be double-minded or even have negative thoughts. I can’t have negative and positive thoughts in my mind at the same time. Pick a lane. I love that you talked about if you get to it, abandonment means, “No, we’re done with that.” You can for yourself up, be open, and talk about your future self thanking you.
It’s always tough because it’s a death. Even if it’s a bad friend, marriage, or job, you’re still ending something. That’s hard because there’s an element of failure, insecurity, or scariness, but to take that next step, you have to let go of what you were doing before. I asked people when I worked for one of them in the future. I go, “What are you going to change because what if this is still going on in a year?” “It won’t.” “What are you going to stop doing?” “I don’t know.” “You’re going to get the same thing in a year.” Abandonment, in that sense, like loneliness, is a pruning. It’s a cutting away of the dead, diseased, or dying. As we’re evolving, we always have to be looking at that and doing that.
I’m glad you touched on that with having too many things going on being by myself a lot more and being able to cultivate a lot of these ideas that I didn’t even know I had, to be very frank, taking notes in different things, ideas for businesses, and all the different things going through my head. Sometimes, I’m somebody who can’t have too many balls in the air. Sometimes I need to go ahead and establish this timeline and items and abandon these other items for a short time. Maybe I’ll come back to them. Because I can do several things well, I can’t do seventeen things well and keep that going.
Sometimes even as women, we are like, “We have to do it all.” Stop. Don’t play that martyr thing. Sometimes people do what they think because they like that. I’m like, “That’s not good.” If you’re going todo seventeen things, you are doing with joy, but it’s not feasible. You need to abandon some of those things like thinking you can do it all. For some people, that’s the joy of getting to tell everybody they’re doing everything, but I digress.
Back to the price of leadership, the last thing you talked about was vision. I can remember I sat growing up with the Ken Blanchards and Norman Vincent Peales. I’m like, “These guys are visionaries.” I was like, “I don’t think I’m a visionary.” My dad was always like, “You are. It’s just seeing what needs to be done and then doing it.” There was a very strategic but also a tactical aspect, and I’m like, “That I can do.” How do you hone your vision for what’s next in your life and these ideas that are coming up and how does that fit the Lisa of the next 5, 10, or 15 years?
I do a lot of thinking, reflecting, and things like that. My mom is such a strongwoman that she is a fraction of the woman that she is in my entire life. She is beyond. I didn’t know that she was cultivating the seed inside me since I was very little of watching her, having strength, and being able to do what people don’t think you can do. She did it and she did it with grace. She never ever put her problems on other people. That’s one of the things that I make sure that I try not to let my own and not share with people, but it’s a matter of not letting your own learning, own negativity, and things spill onto others.
That was one of the things that she made sure even when hard things happened to her and a lot of hard things happened to her. It wasn’t anybody else’s fault. That’s such a strong foundation that starting out when I was younger, “You can do things in what you put your mind to. You can do these things.” As I got a little older, a lot of it was situational. I had a job, and the people around me said, “You can do this. Would you like to interview for this position?” or things like that. It is little things that build your confidence that you find out you can do as you go.
It’s crazy how I got into this position because I didn’t have the experience that I thought, “I was never going to get this position ever.” It was the wildest interview I’ve ever had because I’m like, “They’re going to ask me about all my previous experience. I’m going to have to tell them I don’t have any. It’s going to be a sad time. I’m going to walk out the door. It’s going to be hard, but I’m going to go through this all and learn from it,” but their questions are, “Are you loyal and adaptable? Can you move in a fast-paced environment? Can you move with grace? This is going to be hard. We have a lot of amazing clients.”
I’m thinking, “Yes,” but when we’re going to get to the questions that I’m going to have to say no to, they never got to those questions that I had to say no to. It was the most eye-opening experience. I never had any corporate experience before in that realm. I’m thinking, “This must be a one. This isn’t going to be the position that I thought. I’m only going to be very short time because I don’t even know what I’m doing.” In positive things I’ve said yes to and the people around me, my family’s strength and leadership are giving me goosebumps.
They are those who have believed in me and pushed me to that next level to help me push myself, so that vision comes from them, me, and from the circular movement of us bouncing these ideas, passions, and caring about each other as humans off of each other over and over every single day. My personal business leads into the business vision. That leads back to my personal vision and things that seemed far away, unattainable, and unachievable, but great things to talk about.
We’ve seen a business come to fruition, and we’re only a couple of steps off this feeling-less ladder. To see that and to see it be real from a personal standpoint has stopped and made me think, “Why not me?” There are many people and famous celebrities, all these interviews and things, “Why did you think you could do it?” They thought, “There are many people around me. Why not me? Why can’t I go?” I had that same negative self-talk, “Why would I be the one to go for it? Why would I push myself? Why would I be somebody who would be a leader or who would be in these positions and not somebody else who is more qualified or experienced?”
At the end of the day, they’re not you or me. We all bring such different things to the table. I was talking to a friend and I said, “You don’t even know. This has happened for eleven and a half years straight, and it happens to me every single day. Every morning, it’s like a rollercoaster.” In the very early morning, I start to think, “How am I going to get everything done? How am I going to be able to have the knowledge and the experience? How am I going to conquer the tasks that I need to and the clients I need to speak with? What needs to happen? How am I going to do this?”
It moves into a little bit more negative. There are one million people who are more qualified and experienced than me, who worked for a Fortune 100company, and who can do this. By mid-morning, I’m getting a little bit of a stride and I’m like, “I’m getting things done. I’m doing this.” By early afternoon, I’m like, “I am here.” By late afternoon, I’m like, “I’m where I’m supposed to be. They are as lucky to have me as I am to have them.” I leave with a side and the whole thing starts the next morning.
Some people say, “That’s not healthy.” I would tend to disagree because you need a level of leveling, a level of humility, and an understanding of how many amazing people there are. You can gather from just being in our class the people around me. There could be an interaction at the grocery store where you gather something from somebody that sticks with you. People are amazing and to think through, see the opportunity, and get to it as opposed to having something that has stuck with me over the years.
You get to do this every day. You get to try to be your best and show up for people. However, that turns out for the day, knowing that you did your best and showed up as your true and real self. That’s where I am in my life in this season. It is that authenticity that brings it home because there are people who are not going to from a personal standpoint, but they do from a business standpoint. You can go in and pick somebody apart in every way, shape, and form. I’m somebody who thrives on positive reinforcement.
If I see even a glimmer of something positive or something like, “I got that. Now I can get the next thing. I can at least try,” I start to get this little bit of wind beneath my wings to help put things up. It’s this constant whatever you want to call it, angel or demon. It is necessary because you got to know how great other people are, but you also have to believe in yourself and commend the people around you for helping build you into who you are.
Thank you for being very authentic about that. My dad was always very clear about that. He’s like, “I’m a failure too.” It wasn’t a degradation. It was a humility. He knew there were many better speakers out there. There are many people that sold more books. I appreciate you saying that. It makes sure you never get to fully yourself and never content because you’re constantly on this, “Revert back. I’m strong enough. Tomorrow is another day.” People see the sun, sit back, and get stale, like, “What got you there won’t keep you there.” I love that you’re looking at that, but I love that you talked about the vision.
You are with people that you almost borrow their vision. Now that I’m teaching in the financial planning world, I know my dad loved it so much, and if I had to do it over again, although I had a great career, you cannot succeed if you’re chewing people up and getting rid of them. Not everybody is perfect. I’ve been around. I understand, but it seems like in the financial planning industry, they saw you and they realize that you may not see it, but they see it in you.
You were opening up to borrow their vision in you, and then there’s this symbiotic relationship. You got to have your vision. We talked about that in the CLF Program. You have your individual motivations, but then it’s tied to the organization. It is the fact that you for many years, every morning, get up and get energized about this. This is what everybody craves. This is what all those TikTok people say, “I quit after eleven and a half minutes.” This is what they’re looking for, maybe not and they just like making TikTok videos.
I don’t have TikTok. I’m not sure what you mean.
Everybody is like, “I quit.” My dad would say, “You can’t quit. You have done nothing yet.” You go in and you’re thankful. They’re like, “This isn’t for me.” I’m like, “You don’t even know. You have even tried.” You’re willing to look at vision as a shared enterprise and realize that vision is a shared thing. An organization can’t be 50 different visionaries all pull in different directions. That’s crazy, but you talked about them and what they saw in you and you were open to say yes. You drew from that. I also know why you scheduled our show for the late afternoon. I’m glad we didn’t talk in the morning. Usually, people sign up first thing in the morning. I’m always like, “That is funny that you said that.”
We blur the lines a little bit as we get a little older. You hear some of these younger kids, “I can’t do something I’m not passionate about.” Even I’m like, “What do you mean?”
There’s going to be a lot, “I don’t like paying taxes. I don’t like not eating sugar. I don’t like picking up dog poop.” There’s going to be a lot you’re going to have to do.
It’s got to begiven in all forms of life and ways as you get older. From a personal standpoint, from a vision, I have big goals that I wish to achieve. I want to build my home. That’s been my ultimate goal for decades. I want to build a home for myself, and then I also come back to traveling and then doing things for more things for my family because it is what they’ve done for me growing up. Having an opportunity todo that is what pushes me. Having that within the grasp and being able to is beyond measure.
Your vision is tied to your why. You’re very clear, it’s got enough of them and emotional. It’s personal and it’s your why. When people would belike, “I don’t know if I can sell anymore,” my dad is like, “It’s not a productivity thing. You have to get back to your why.” It is as long as you’re always going back to that. That sense of gratitude always keeps you there. You’re there to choose success not just for yourself but for everybody else in everything you’re saying. I love it. We covered loneliness, weariness, abandonment, and vision. Anything else that we have not touched on as far as leadership that you would like to share with our readers?
We’ve touched on a whole lot. I mentioned earlier that one of the big things that keep rearing its head in this season of life and a lot lately is everything being a trade-off. It’s not necessarily in relationships where everything is a trade-off and business things are a trade-off. It is understanding that sometimes we trade-in. Have you ever seen Jesus with the teddy bear? There is this girl with a little teddy bear. He’s telling her to give it up. He’s got a giant teddy behind his back, but she can’t see it. We all have that where we grip tightly the things that we think are good for us but aren’t meant for us, but we’re content enough that we want to hold on and we don’t want to see what’s behind his back when it could be great.
We don’t know and it’s stepping into that unknown. That’s one of the things that I hope that more people will lean into and recognize the power within themselves to be with them a little bit, explore, and know how much they have inside of them that can be brought up and drawn out, whether it’s with the right people, scenario, or situation. We’re not always going to be in those, but realizing that there’s much more inside you than what you think. It can be brought out with the tiniest of things and you can cultivate that from your own self-worth, excitement, and things like that.
I love that you said that for readers, “The tiniest of things,” because some people are like, “It’s going to take too much work.” It has to be your book and I’ll publish it.
For this interview, I’ve been jotting down all these random things that come to mind. I give myself a chance to process or bring them out on myself previously. I thought, “I’m going to leave those aside. I’m going to have a conversation.” I’m thinking in my head, “What if I make those into a book? What if I did want to do something like that in the future?” This stuff comes to you when you don’t even consider it. It leaks out of you in the best of ways. If you could publish my book, I’d appreciate it so much. This is a very large thing.
Our connection was a phenomenal class, the connections that we had, and you learning and getting to read your papers, then get to know somebody when they write about what they’re going through. It is such a joy to watch. It’s impressive. Your mom must be so proud of you.
Thank you so much. It’s funny because she says, “You wanted to write a paper? In this many years, I’ve never seen you excited to write.”
Isn’t it beautiful? I almost flunked out of college twice. Now I’m like, “No, it’s different.” When you place where you want to learn, you’re excited, and you get your act together, “I am a radically different student than what I was before.” That’s the beauty of adult learning. You’ll want to learn.
When you’re able to choose a little bit more of where you’re spending on what subjects and work it into your everyday life, it’s magic.
What’s the best way for people to get in touch with you?
You’re welcome to connect with me on LinkedIn. You’re also welcome to send me an email.
You want to connect with tremendous Lisa, learn more about her, and have her in your network of people. Lisa, where are you located at?
I am near Cleveland Ohio, about half an hour-ish West of Cleveland. If anybody wants to chat and bounce some ideas, I would love to learn from you and gather some of those thoughts because I’m sure that everybody reading has so much to offer. I would be grateful to be able to speak with anybody.
Thank you so much. This has been at such a time of getting to know you more. We’re in between class breaks. You’re getting ready to start again. I’m blessed to have you in my life. I’m excited about what you shared and what’s next for you.
Thank you so much. I am as well. I’m grateful and excited.
To our readers, it is time for us to bid adieu. If you like what you read, please hit the subscribe button. How about sharing this with somebody who needs to read Lisa’s wonderful words of wisdom about what it takes to pay the price of leadership? If you would do us the honor of a review, we would be thankful too. Never forget, you’re going to be the same person five years now except for two things, the people you meet and the books you read. As long as you keep doing that, you are going to be more than ready, willing, and able to pay the price of leadership. Thank you all so much for reading and have a tremendous rest of the day.