Curated Leadership for Today's World

I have met the enemy and it is me!

Posted on 14 June 2010

What if you had five dollars in your hand and somebody said they’d give you a thousand? Of course you’d gladly release your grasp of what you currently had in hand for something much greater. In nerd terms one of the properties of matter is that two solids cannot occupy the same space. In layman terms this means until we let go of what we currently have we can’t get something potentially greater. The problem is that either fear or laziness causes us to assume that if we let go of what we have what we receive may not be better and it may entail a lot more work. Many of us go through life holding on to what we have while expecting a much greater rate of return. I’ve held onto incompatible relationships, toxic employees and even hostile bosses because I’ve been afraid to open my hand and receive something different.

The universe has an interesting way of dealing with me when I get this way. It lets me stew in my misery, sometimes for years, before it presents a cataclysmic event whereby I must let go of the old. This often comes in the form of a betrayal or separation, and although it hurts me very deeply, I’m never surprised when it finally comes. The only anger I feel is at myself for being too lazy to get away from the situation before it took a bite out of my heart, soul, mind, bank account or reputation. T.S. Eliot put it best when he said, “If you haven’t the strength to impose your own terms upon life, you must accept the terms life offers.”

I have met the enemy and it is me! The good news is that even though I was slow to let go of holding on to things such as jobs, people, and material things such as houses, I did get better letting go of the known for the greater unknown as the years progressed. Guess you could say that I built up my faith through experience. I knew that when I let go of something, I no longer feared crashing and burning. Instead, I know I’ll be catapulted to a much higher level, like a trapeze artist flying through the air. I stopped judging others and, most importantly, myself. I stopped asking why things weren’t as they should be and realized that the only thing I was going to change about a stale and detrimental situation was me!

I’m confident that I can change and consistently reinvent myself. I know that in listening to my inner voice and doing the right thing, greater opportunities come my way; greater than anything I could have anticipated or planned for. And even if they are just for a month or a year, they’ll function as stepping stones to the next gift I open myself up to receive.

Seriously, don't be your own worst enemy.

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4 comments

  • Tracey Jones: February 20, 2016

    Tony, what a great article! I just read it and posted my comments. When you talk about “allowing” yourself to change you encapsulated the whole issues. Thanks so much for your comments and for the link!!

  • Tony: February 20, 2016

    Hi Tracey!

    I’ve experienced similar things and situations in my life. I just wrote an article about giving oneself permission to do the things one wants to do.

    http://www.masterkeycoaching.com/2010/06/giving-yourself-permission/

    Yes, we can all change, and a lot of times it is merely a matter of just allowing ourselves to change that actually causes those changes to happen. Our excuses and reasons for not doing something or changing are merely ways we deny ourselves. Instead, we should just say to ourselves “I am allowed to do that” and then damn the torpedoes.

    Thanks for sharing this.

    All the BEST!

    Have fun … Tony.

  • Tracey Jones: February 20, 2016

    I sure will Tony, you too:-)

  • Tony: February 20, 2016

    Hi Tracey!

    You are most welcome. And thanks back at ya - for both the comment and everything you’re doing there at Tremendous Life Books. :)

    All the BEST!

    Have fun … Tony.

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