Next week, I'm leading a Zoom session for a forward-thinking engineering company making a bold move. They’re not just training leaders—they’re developing coaches. Why? Because they understand something most companies miss:
People don't grow from direction. They grow from relationships.
Leadership isn’t about handing people opportunities. It’s about building relationships that awaken them to create their own. In The Three Decisions, my father, Charlie “Tremendous” Jones, said it plain and bold:
“I have never talked to a man about an opportunity. You're sitting in my office because you don't have a working relationship. And everybody knows if you don't have a working relationship, all the opportunities in the world won't do you any good."
That's the heart of Coaching Leadership—the frontier where we stop commanding from a distance and start walking beside people in development-driven relationships. Coaching isn't about giving orders. It's about giving ownership. It's about growing thinkers, not just followers. It's about aligning potential with purpose, not just performance with process.
It’s not training—it’s transformation.
Coaching Leadership: Five Styles, One Purpose
The five coaching styles below aren't random techniques. They're relational lenses that help us see what kind of support someone truly needs—not to succeed in a role but to flourish in a calling.
Let's walk through each style and the kind of relationship it builds best:
MENTOR – Rooted in Wisdom
When to use it: When someone needs perspective, legacy, and identity.
The relationship it builds: Elder to builder. You're offering history, humility, and hope. You're not solving problems; you're helping them see their life as a story worth living.
"Let me tell you when I was where you are now..."
CHALLENGER – See What Others Miss
When to use it: When someone is stuck in comfort, ego, or false ceilings.
The relationship it builds: Iron sharpening iron. You speak truth in love and call them to more than they thought possible. You don't coddle; you clarify.
"You're better than this. Want to know how I know?"
DEVELOPER – Cultivate Their Potential
When to use it: When someone has desire but not direction—or effort without method.
The relationship it builds: Coach to craftsperson. You invest in reps, reflection, and results. You don't just cheerlead—you skill-build.
"Let's dig into this together. Growth is the goal."
LISTENER – Presence Has Power
When to use it: When someone is in grief, transition, confusion, or conflict.
The relationship it builds: Safe harbor. You don't fix—you hear. You make room for what's unsaid and create space where truth can rise.
"I'm here. Not to rescue—but to remain."
EMPOWERER – Release to Rise
When to use it: When someone is ready to lead, decide, or step out—but still looks back for permission.
The relationship it builds: Steward to sojourner. You trust them enough to let go and celebrate their courage, not just their outcomes.
"You've got this. And I've got your back."
Relationship Before Opportunity
Coaching Leadership is about showing up before showing off. It's not about charting someone’s path for them—it’s about standing in the gap long enough for them to see what’s possible.
As my father said, "If you knew what an opportunity was, the last place you’d be sitting is in my office looking for a job. You need to hear about a relationship.”
Let's stop obsessing over "opportunities" and start investing in working relationships. People don't grow because of what they're offered—they grow because of who's walking with them.
Want to Bring This to Your Team?
Are you interested in having Dr. Tracey Jones facilitate the Coaching Styles Self-Assessment and lead a customized training session for your organization?
Let’s talk about bringing this powerful tool to your leaders. Reach out today!
