I agree with your point that as a consultant it is important to talk through the issues with the client. And we are human so although we can strive to count it all joy, let’s face it, many times we’re just not that big. However, I do maintain that listening to someone’s repetitive whining (thumb sucking my Dad called it) will do them and you more harm than good. It’s the spirit in which you recount the event. Are you looking for sympathy? Are you looking to place blame and build “your case”? If so, if you really need to talk to someone, it’s better to talk to a higher power before you open your mouth and get yourself in more trouble:-) As always Tony, I so appreciate your comments. This content is something I really struggle with.
Great insight Tracey. We make a decision on how we handle the adversities in our lives. You can’t write what you did without having experienced it. Blessings
Well written. I agree with everything you’ve written. I must add one caveat, though: I think every person, especially a leader, needs one person — just one! — to whom they can bitch and moan freely. More often than not, just the telling to another person of one’ trials and travails makes things just a little better. It also helps to put things into perspective. I’ve found that when I “bottle things up,” I can dwell on something for days, weeks, months … And then I get to a point where I confide in someone — a confidant — and while doing so come to the realization that that which I was “obsessing” was nothing. Literally nothing. Silly, even.
As I coach and consult with people, I realized that this was (and is) one of my primary duties for my clients. Sometimes the talking helps to keep things in perspective. Other times, there is a certain catharsis in the telling. Yet other times, a series of talks like these will point to an underlying problem, which when uncovered can be solved.
You’re right: Keep things to yourself. Allow one person, though, to hear you.
I hope this helps!
Have fun … Tony.
You’re right and I should have made clear in my response. I’m not encouraging or talking about “whine-fests” or repetitive, ongoing complaints. I’m referring to those times when a person keeps one thing bottled inside him/her. As we’ve discussed, most things — feelings, thoughts — pass; every so often, though, something sticks. It’s usually not a big thing, but sometimes — sometime! — discussing it with a trusted friend — a shoulder — can help.
Have fun … Tony.
Thanks for reading and your support Mike!