“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
According to the ancient Mayans, the world will end on Friday, December 21st, 2012. Even if this prediction does come to pass, I’m cool with it. In fact, I think it’d be a tremendous time to go! I had never previously felt this way before but that was before I lived every breath with a committed purpose beating in my heart and pushing me forward. I’d always lived life hoping to find a better job or boss, make better choices about people in my life, and get certain aspects of my life together for once and for all.
My life previously consisted of working to make money to live a certain lifestyle, to solve problems and fix things, and to take care of people. And while these are all noble desires and outcomes, in the grand scheme of things they didn’t amount to a hill of beans. Money talks, but it doesn’t say much. No matter how many problems you solve, there will always be more. And the only person who can really take care of someone is themselves! Not to say that I wasn’t on a good path and did good deeds, it’s just that I wasn’t on THE path that mattered most: the purpose-driven path.
Then I threw everything I knew away and charged full-bore toward a singular goal, to change the world one book at a time. I no longer cared about job titles, active security clearances, living in a hip town, or even having a social life. I no longer worry about the trouble others have gotten themselves and their companies into by not doing the right thing and have no desire to come in and “fix” them. I no longer allow people who will not accept responsibility for their attitudes, no matter how many hardships they’ve endured, to be a part of my life. You see, I just can’t anymore. I can’t do that and be true to my purpose.
To persuade others that everything we need to literally live like there is no tomorrow is found in the people we meet and the books we read, I’ve got to live it. And if there really is no December 22
nd, I am perfectly fine with that because I am no longer trying to
become something in the future. I am just finally in tune with
being what I am meant to be right here right now. And if the universe decides that since I’ve finally achieved total consciousness and it’s time to wrap up this leg of the journey, then so be it!
Has it been easy now that I’ve dialed into living each day as if it’s my last? No! I’ve lost some of the people I’ve counted nearest and dearest to me along this journey—some of them were family members! I’m still single. I haven’t found that magical person to complete me…I’ve truly realized that the only person who can do that is myself! I have added more adopted fur babies into my life, which has made it richer because they reflect unconditional love! My purpose is fed by allowing only the richest books and people into my life. So every day, I dine as if it’s my “last meal”.
So bring on the end of the world as we know it. I not only feel fine, I feel tremendous!! And I know the universe is smiling down on me knowing that I can finally exist within it without feeling the angst of the perpetual question, “what the heck am I supposed to be doing with my life and when am I going to get off my butt and do it??”
Goals are great, mentors are marvelous, and dreams are divine. But until you dial into living your life with an all encompassing purpose, you’ll always be hoping you have more days ahead until you can get it right. Frank Tyger said, "Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you." If you are at peace with yourself and in tune with your purpose, the timing of the end of the world matters not.
2 comments
Mark Armstrong
Most of what I read while I’m on this computer doesn’t amount to “a hill of beans”— to use one of the all-time great summary expressions!
Your closer: “If you are at peace with yourself and in tune with your purpose, the timing of the end of the world matters not,” is one beautifully distilled cosmic truth— and that ain’t no baked beans!!
traceyjones
Here’s to being ready to move on to greater things with no advance notice:-) Hill of beans, I need to use that more!