Tremendous Tracey

Some weeks the hostility just hangs in the air—a volatile leader you can't steady, a teammate who turns cold, conflict that pulls your own good people off center—and the real question is never whether you'll face it, but who you'll be when you do. Drawing on Paul's battle-tested counsel in Romans 12, this piece lays out four ways to lead through hostility without being made ugly by it: be the shock absorber that takes the blast so your team doesn't have to, refuse to let anyone else set your terms, lead for the room rather than the malcontent, and walk the long road of kindness home to the follower who has drifted away. You will not win every difficult person, but you can keep your side of the peace clean—and let the good people around you grow steadier for having watched you stay steady.

But before jumping to conclusions, leaders must pause and ask: Has this follower truly turned? Or have they simply lost that loving feeling? Just like in marriage counseling, where there's been alienation of affection, sometimes the real issue isn't betrayal—it's burnout, disengagement, and disappointment that can be restored.