Some separations are recoverable; others must be recorded, responded to, and released.
This week, the dust-up between President Trump and Elon Musk was more than just political theater—it was a masterclass in fractured followership. Beneath the barbs and soundbites lies something deeper: disillusionment, detachment, and a question every leader must face:
Has the sheep lost its way… or was it never truly in the fold?
Even the strongest, most mission-focused leaders will face it:
A follower you mentored, championed, and maybe even considered a friend—turns. At first, it might look like healthy disagreement. But then the comments escalate, the tone shifts, and suddenly, you're not just watching someone drift. You're witnessing someone detonate.
This conflict is more than disillusionment. It's character assassination.
We recently witnessed a public clash between two giants: President Donald Trump and Elon Musk. It was a fight of epic proportions, and for a moment, it looked unrecoverable. It’s early, but there are some indicators the relationship may be salvaged. This pattern raises a critical leadership question:
Has the sheep lost its way, or was it always a black sheep?
Before you respond, you must discern.
The Kelley Spectrum: Exemplary → Alienated (and Beyond)
In his book, The Power of Followership, Robert Kelley described Alienated Followers as independent thinkers who became disillusioned. He never used the term apostate, but we're adding that framework to describe the most severe cases of rebellion and sabotage.
But before jumping to conclusions, leaders must pause and ask: Has this follower truly turned? Or have they simply lost that loving feeling? Just like in marriage counseling, where there's been alienation of affection, sometimes the real issue isn't betrayal—it's burnout, disengagement, and disappointment that can be restored.
As Charlie "Tremendous" Jones used to say:
"Guys would come into my office and say, 'My wife is leaving me.' 'She is? Why?' 'Well, she says the romance has gone out of our marriage.' 'It did? Where did it go?' I said, 'Listen, partner, you mean it took her all this time to find out there was no romance in marriage?' I discovered almost immediately there was no romance in marriage. So I thought about it, like anybody, and you know what I found? I realized God does not put romance in marriage. He puts romance in people. In me. So I decided to put some romance in my marriage, and I mean to tell you, it's a lot of fun!"
Alienated followers might be like that wife: not disloyal but disappointed. They don't need punishment—they need a reset. In the Life-Changing Classic, The Three Decisions, Charlie speaks about a young man "shopping" for a better job. Charlie reminds him:
"There are opportunities where you already work, but you're sitting in my office because you don't have a working relationship. Everybody knows if you don't have a working relationship, all the opportunities in the world won't do you any good. So I will talk to you about a working relationship that you and I will have, and then you will start creating some opportunities because the last guy who worked here nearly put me out of business!"
And for those who are simply transactional, Charlie said: "If what you're going to get supersedes what you're going to give, you're in the wrong ballpark. You may as well not work at all and suck your thumb and be a hippie. But if you're going to get in it, well, get in it right!"
We all have followers leave. That's life. But when they go with a torch in hand and a microphone in the other, leaders must act.
The Lucifer Pattern: The Original Apostate
Lucifer wasn't just dissatisfied—he rebelled. He wanted the throne, and he recruited others. He didn't quietly exit Heaven—he ignited mutiny. And he continues to do it. "The accuser of our brethren has been thrown down, he who accuses them before our God day and night." (Revelation 12:10) Some alienated followers are redeemable, while others will never return. Leaders must learn to discern the difference.
Biblical Echoes: Fall, Plot, or Follow
1. Demas: Paul writes that Demas "loved the world" and deserted him (2 Tim 4:10). Once faithful, now gone.
2. John Mark: Walked away from Paul during a mission, causing a rift. But later, Paul said, "He is useful to me." (2 Tim 4:11) — a model of redemption.
3. Timothy: Loyal, steadfast, a model follower who never left Paul's side.
"Don't confuse temporary absence with permanent abandonment. Demas was gone for good. Mark just needed a second chance. Timothy never left." — Tracey C. Jones
Historical Echoes
1. General Douglas MacArthur: Once revered, ultimately dismissed by President Truman during the Korean War due to overreach and public disagreement. A powerful follower turned oppositional.
2. Aaron Burr: Once a Vice President and close ally to key Founding Fathers ultimately turned antagonist. From inside the system to duelist and exile.
3. Benedict Arnold: The quintessential alienated follower. A decorated Revolutionary War hero whose disillusionment led to treason.
4. Martin Luther: An Alienated follower of the Catholic Church who sparked the Protestant Reformation. He left with a 95-thesis-sized torch—but with reform, not sabotage, in mind.
The real question: Was the follower truly for the mission—or riding alongside until the road split?
The LOR Framework: Responding with Wisdom
Leaders need a strategy for these moments. Those of you who have ever served in the military know the acronym I’m about to refer to. Enter the LOR Protocol:
📄 Letter of Reprimand
1. Document the fallout.
2. Don't retaliate—but don't ignore it.
3. Protect the mission and those still engaged.
🔪 Lack of Reaction
1. Sometimes, the best response is none.
2. Silence speaks louder than a counterattack.
3. Let facts, not feelings, define your response.
🌟 Limits of Re-entry
1. If reconciliation is considered, establish boundaries.
2. Restoration without accountability invites repeat offense.
Final Word: Don't Chase What Was Never Yours
Jesus didn't chase Judas, David didn't keep drawing Absalom in, and Paul let Demas walk away. But Paul also welcomed John Mark back when he was ready. As leaders, we are called to be discerning shepherds. Not everyone who leaves needs a door slammed behind them. But when someone begins to destroy what you've built actively, you must stand.
"Mark those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them." (Romans 16:17)
Be gracious. Be wise. And above all, be mission-minded.
Your legacy isn't just shaped by those who follow you; it's also shaped by how you respond when they stop following you.
