I used to kill audiences with content.
Not in a good way.
I'd pack my speeches so full of frameworks, models, and data that people's heads would practically explode. Seven-phase implementation matrices. Quadrant analyses. Research citations stacked three-deep. I wanted to blind them with science. Prove I knew my stuff. Show them I'd done the work.
And then one day, after what I thought was a particularly stellar presentation, someone approached me with stars in their eyes.
"I loved your stories," they said.
Wait. What? The stories? Those little throwaway anecdotes I almost cut because I needed more time for the Strategic Leadership Alignment Model? That's when it hit me: I was trying to prove I was smart. But people don't follow smart. They follow real. They follow someone who's been in the mess and found the way out.
The more of ME I shared - the failures, the face-plants, the moments I got it spectacularly wrong - the more my message landed. The more it took root. I'd stumbled onto something. And years later, when I read an article about triangles being the most stable and efficient geometric shape in existence, it all clicked into place.
The Power of Three
The triangle isn't just elegant - it's structural law. Engineers build bridges with triangles because you can't collapse them without breaking them. Apply pressure to a square and it deforms. Apply pressure to a triangle? It holds.
This same principle shows up everywhere humans have tried to build something that lasts:
- Theology: Father, Son, Holy Spirit - three persons, one essence, holding the weight of all creation
- Rhetoric: Aristotle's Ethos, Pathos, Logos - remove one leg and your argument collapses
- Communication: Your story, your witness, your proof - the three-legged stool your message can rest on
And here's what I've learned after 17 years of speaking and publishing: When you build your communication on all three legs, you're not just making a point. You're building a platform other people can stand on.
Let me show you how this works.
Leg One: Your Scar - What It Cost You to Learn This
Years after my "blind them with science" epiphany, I'm grading a paper from one of my coaching clients—let's call her Sarah. She's a brilliant consultant writing a case study about a leader named Jordan who's struggling with adaptability.
The paper is pristine. Perfect structure. Sophisticated concepts. Research-backed recommendations. The kind of work that earns an A+ in any graduate program.
And I write in the margin: "This is excellent. But where are YOU?"
Because here's what I know about Sarah: She spent 29 years in one firm, building systems and structures that worked beautifully. Then the firm was acquired. 99% of her team was gone overnight. And she had to completely reinvent how she led. She's now launching her own business - another massive transition that's testing every assumption she ever made about leadership.
She knows what Jordan is going through. She's lived it.
But she wrote about him like a consultant analyzing a case study. Not like someone who'd been in the arena, bleeding from the same wounds.
I told her: "Your case study is like your professional persona - polished, comprehensive, impressive. But it's missing the Sarah who walks around in 'cheerful delusions' and gets surprised by mirrors. Your clients don't need another consultant with perfect frameworks. They need someone who's BEEN in the mess, figured it out, and can walk beside them through THEIR mess. You've got the frameworks down. Now show us the scars, sister."
This is Leg One of the three-legged stool: Your personal experience. The thing that costs you something to learn. The dragon you actually slayed, not the one you read about in a book. When you lead with your scar, you earn the right to be heard. Because vulnerability isn't weakness - it's proof you've paid the tuition to teach this class.
That's Pathos - the emotional connection that makes people lean in.
Leg Two: Your Witness - Someone Else Who Conquered the Same Dragon
One voice sounds like opinion. Two voices sound like conversation. But three voices? That's a chorus. That's proof.
My client Marcus is writing a book about his leadership development program. He could've just written it - he's run this program for years, he knows it works, he's got the credentials. But instead, he's doing something I've rarely seen an author do:
After every single chapter, he's going back to the people who've been through his program and asking them: "Does this match your experience? What am I missing? What really landed for you?"
He's building his book on testimonials. Real voices. Real transformations. Not just his story, but a chorus of people who walked the same path and came out the other side changed.
Marcus understands what Charlie Tremendous Jones used to say: "I never tell anyone anything. I just give them a book." Don't take my word for it - here's what Lincoln learned. Here's what Patton proved on the battlefield. Here's what Joan of Arc died defending.
Charlie knew that the most persuasive thing you can do is bring other witnesses to the stand. Let them tell their version of the truth. Let the reader see the pattern across multiple lives.
This is Leg Two: Your witness. The client story. The case study. The friend who tried what you're teaching and watched their world shift. The team member who applied the principle and got promoted.
When you add a second voice, you move from "this worked for me" to "this might work for you too."
That's Ethos - the credibility that comes from a chorus, not a solo.
Leg Three: Your Proof - The Research That Grounds It All
W. Edwards Deming - the man who revolutionized quality management and transformed how the world thinks about excellence - used to say: "In God we trust. All others bring data."
Now here's where we get down to brass tacks. In a world drowning in "my truth" and "lived experience," we still need foundations. We still need proof. We still need something solid to stand on.
This is where you bring in the stat. The peer-reviewed research. The diagnostic tool. The chart that shows the trend. The framework that's been tested across industries.
It's where I'd tell you that the triangle is the most stable and efficient geometric shape in existence because it's the only polygon that can't be deformed without breaking its structure. That's not metaphor - that's physics. That's universal law.
It's where Aristotle showed up 2,300 years ago and said: If you want to persuade anyone of anything, you need three things:
- Ethos: Who you are (your credibility)
- Pathos: What you feel (your humanity)
- Logos: What you prove (your logic)
Remove any one of these and your argument tips over.
The Trinity works the same way - Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Three persons, one essence. The theological foundation that billions of people have built their lives on for millennia. The three-legged stool keeps showing up because it works. Not just in communication - in everything. In structures that need to bear weight. In truths that need to last.
This is Leg Three: Your proof. The grounding. The thing that says, "This isn't just my opinion - this is backed by something bigger than both of us."
That's Logos - the logic that turns inspiration into conviction.
Why Your Message Isn't Landing (And How to Fix It)
Here's what I see most often:
Leaders who only use Leg One: They tell stories all day long. Vulnerable, authentic, real. But there's no framework. No pattern. No "here's how YOU can do this too." It's inspiring for a minute, then it evaporates.
Consultants who only use Leg Three: They show up with data, research, and models. Impressive credentials. But no humanity. No proof they've actually lived this. So it feels theoretical. Academic. Like advice from someone who's never had skin in the game.
Coaches who only use Leg Two: They're always quoting other people. "Simon Sinek says..." "Brené Brown teaches..." "My client got this result..." But where are THEY in all of it? At some point, we need to know: What do you think? What have you learned?
Any one leg alone? That's wobbly. That's a message that doesn't stick.
But plant all three?
- YOUR scar (what it cost you to learn this)
- YOUR witness (someone else who lived it)
- YOUR proof (the research that grounds it)
That's a stool you can rest your entire body of work on. That's a message that doesn't just land - it takes root.
The Triangle Truth
A three-legged stool doesn't wobble. You can rest everything you know on it. Your reputation. Your message. Your life's work.
One leg? That's just you talking.
Two legs? That's a conversation.
But three legs? That's a platform other people can stand on too.
It's not just persuasion - it's physics. It's theology. It's rhetoric. It's the pattern woven into the fabric of reality itself. The triangle holds because it must hold. It's the only shape that can't be deformed without breaking. Your message deserves the same stability.
Your Challenge
Look at your next presentation. Your next blog post. Your next pitch or proposal or LinkedIn article. Ask yourself:
Where's my Leg One? What personal experience can I share that shows I've actually done this? Not just studied it - lived it. What's the story that proves I've paid the tuition?
Where's my Leg Two? Who else has walked this path? What client can I point to? What case study demonstrates this isn't just true for me - it's a pattern? Can I quote Charlie and let Lincoln make my argument? Can I be like Marcus and gather testimonials that turn my solo into a chorus?
Where's my Leg Three? What grounds this in reality? What's the stat, the research, the framework that says, "This isn't just anecdotal - this is backed by something solid"? Remember Deming: In God we trust. All others bring data.
If you're wobbling on one leg - even if it's a really impressive leg - you're going to tip over eventually. But if you build your message like a triangle? Like a three-legged stool? Like the Trinity, or Aristotle's rhetorical pillars, or the geometric truth that holds up every bridge worth crossing?
Then you're not just communicating. You're building something stable. Something efficient. Something people can stand on long after you've left the room. All good things come in threes. Make sure your message is one of them.
What's one message you need to strengthen? Which leg is missing? I'd love to hear what you're building.
