Waiting for Chewbacca
Posted on 12 August 2018
As a Star Wars fanatic, I look forward to each new story. This summer's release of Solo was no exception. I saw it opening weekend in NYC and numerous times after. There was something about this one that really spoke to me. I’ve adored Han and Chewie since I was a teenager. But after seeing the movie repeatedly, it struck me why I still couldn’t get enough of these two more than 40 years later. In the movie, you get to discover the origins of one of the most significant partnerships in the universe…when Han met Chewie! Both were loners, displaced from their blood relatives who came together in their respective hour of need. Yet they repeatedly chose to remain by each other’s side throughout the movie when they could have returned to their previous lifestyle.
I spent time in the Air Force around aviators and fighter jets, and one thing you never, ever do is leave your wingman. Solo struck me so profoundly because at the heart of the equation is one plus one equals infinity. If Chewie and Han had a love language, it would be the gift of helps. In scholarly terms, it’s called means efficacy, where someone give you the means to succeed.
I’m not talking about a best friend, blood relative, or soulmate kind of love, I’m talking about someone who has your back, would take a bullet for you, and wants your success more than they want their own. Someone who's drawn to you as if there's a tractor beam between you two and once they're locked in, they aren't going anywhere else. That’s about as rare as a Storm Trooper hitting something.
Life is tremendous, it really is. It’s even more tremendous when you find your Chewbacca. But here’s the thing; you don’t find your Chewbacca; your Chewbacca finds you. Maybe a wonderful Wookiee will come into your life for a season, maybe for a lifetime; but you’ll know it when it happens. We are all coded to be relational, from an evolutionary as well as a spiritual standpoint. None of us can fly the Millennium Falcon of our lives alone.
In Henry Cloud’s book, The Power of the Other, he refers to the Chewie-Han Synergy as a Quadrant 4 relationship. This occurs when the real you is connected to a real other, and together you can achieve more than you ever dreamed you could alone. You know you’re in the zone because your systems are thriving, and your hope is restored.
So, if you’ve found your Chewbacca, make sure you let them know you couldn’t do it without them. And rejoice you haven’t made them angry enough to rip your arms out of your sockets. And if you haven’t found your Chewbacca, may you soon find that cosmic camaraderie capable of helping you reach the stars!