I spent time in the Air Force around aviators and fighter jets, and one thing you never, ever do is leave your wingman. Solo struck me so profoundly because at the heart of the equation is one plus one equals infinity. If Chewie and Han had a love language, it would be the gift of helps. In scholarly terms, it’s called means efficacy, where someone give you the means to succeed.
I’m not talking about a best friend, blood relative, or soulmate kind of love, I’m talking about someone who has your back, would take a bullet for you, and wants your success more than they want their own. Someone who's drawn to you as if there's a tractor beam between you two and once they're locked in, they aren't going anywhere else. That’s about as rare as a Storm Trooper hitting something.
Life is tremendous, it really is. It’s even more tremendous when you find your Chewbacca. But here’s the thing; you don’t find your Chewbacca; your Chewbacca finds you. Maybe a wonderful Wookiee will come into your life for a season, maybe for a lifetime; but you’ll know it when it happens. We are all coded to be relational, from an evolutionary as well as a spiritual standpoint. None of us can fly the Millennium Falcon of our lives alone.
In Henry Cloud’s book, The Power of the Other, he refers to the Chewie-Han Synergy as a Quadrant 4 relationship. This occurs when the real you is connected to a real other, and together you can achieve more than you ever dreamed you could alone. You know you’re in the zone because your systems are thriving, and your hope is restored.
So, if you’ve found your Chewbacca, make sure you let them know you couldn’t do it without them. And rejoice you haven’t made them angry enough to rip your arms out of your sockets. And if you haven’t found your Chewbacca, may you soon find that cosmic camaraderie capable of helping you reach the stars!