I interact with multiple tremendous people weekly. This past one was no exception. There was, however, something else that stood out; the repeated concern of some of my closest confidants sharing that the thought of giving up had passed their mind. These interactions were accompanied by other such self-deprecating opinions as "I can’t get away from this"; "When will this be over"; "I’m still paying for the sins of my past", and "Things just aren’t happening for me no matter what I do!" It’s as if they're living inside a glasshouse looking and trying to get out, but can’t locate the door despite their best efforts. If you’ve uttered these words in the last few weeks, have faith and read on!
First, it's entirely natural to have these types of concerns or anxieties. As mere mortals, it is part of the psychological highs and lows we traverse as physical and emotional beings. My father illustrated this brilliant truth in his best-selling masterpiece; Life is Tremendous. He states that it’s okay to want to quit, just don’t do it. Fair enough, but what do you do to soldier on when you feel so defeated you’re not sure you could even raise, let along wave, your white flag?
Here’s Three Ways You Can Resolve to Resilient
Recognize Clarity Inhibitors:
I am passionate about the term self-efficacy. It’s the belief in your perceived capability; in what you can do, not what you will do. There is a subtle, yet significant, difference. For many years my self-esteem was healthy. However, my self-efficacy was not. I had emotional roadblocks, bad habits, and toxic people I allowed in my life. My father called negative self-talk stinkin’ thinkin’. I’d go one step further and call it self-defecation. You can’t get clarity if you are talkin’ smack, smokin’ crack, or throwin’ back. Lose the poisons preventing you from seeing things clearly, whether it be things we do to ourselves or things we allow others to do to us.
Recalibrate Your Purpose:
We need to pivot with purpose, not out of pain. Many times, we run screaming to our future because we are fleeing our past. This frenetic behavior is recipe to go from one fire to the next. Don't stab at your future, frame it. Pick up the scaffolding and be very intentional, peaceful and calm about where you are going to build next. If the house you're constructing isn't going up as you planned, perhaps it's time to move to a new location, metaphorically. Life will give you clues you are on the right track. It won't be easy, but you will not be defeated. Your life is all about identity generation. Stop clinging to the possible and go for the preferred. Can’t you see the greatness in yourself? Stop sticking to good; you were made for more than this. Remember, don't retire…refire!!
Resurrect Your Spirit:
Want to save your life, change your life, better your life, get a second lease on life, enjoy your life, or recreate your life? You know what's coming...READ!!! I am committed to putting this on my blog every single week for the rest of my life. While I am thankful you are reading my blog; you need to be reading books too! You cannot resurrect your spirit on your own. You need an infusion of truth, of ideas, of previously unrecognized options. Stop trying to do it all yourself. We are not that good! If you are not reading there is no way you can resurrect your spirit. Trust me; I tried it for decades. While I was tenacious enough to keep working new things, I also was completely burnt out. You must fuel yourself. You must dig deep into the pages of a book and ponder what the words mean for you. Only then will you find the answer you’re looking for and probably quite a few you weren’t.
Not sure what to read? Check out our tremendous website. It’s teaming with titles guaranteed to spur epiphanies, elevate your self-efficacy, and endless encouragement.
Thank you for the thought boost! Wisdom is healed pain, and you have honored your father by carrying his legacy forward and you have definitely outgrown his shadow!
Thrive on, Tracey!
Truth Tracey! Very inspirational – thank you!
Hi Tremendous Tracey,
As usual, you have “hit it out of the park again”. Your dad used to teach that if your dreams for the future are smaller than your memories of the past, you are in the wrong place. (paraphrase)
Thank you for your timely reminder to continue to “dream big”.
Thank you for this. I needed to read this today!
Tremendous post, Tracey!